Symposium
by vaportransmission88
Summary: Edward is gone and has left Bella broken.What if destiny had taken the long way around? What if Jacob was always meant to be with Bella? Will she ever realise that her fate was in the wrong place and let her destiny set its course?A Jacob/Bella love story
1. Chapter one

Chapter one

About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Edward was gone and had no intention of coming back.

Second, it had been 8 months, 11 days and 4 hours since I last saw his face.

And third I was devastated and unconditionally heartbroken.

For the first time in weeks the sun was shining in Forks. I was excited about the prospect of visiting Jacob; it had been days since we last hung out. The hole that constantly plagued my chest was shrinking smaller and smaller as the days passed. Every day was easier, I could smile without feeling guilty for pretending to now but every so often a memory or a vision of his perfect face would stun me into shock making the progress of the past 8 months disappear. I convinced myself that I would get over him, that I was over him. I would be able to live my life as I had before I met him, but deep down I knew I was broken and nothing could change that.

As I drove down to La push I couldn't help but smile at the thought of seeing Jacob, my Jacob. In so many aspects he was mine, my best friend, my companion, my sunshine in the darkest days. He made it obvious that if he could have his way I would be more than his best friend. I saw it in the way he looked into my eyes; in the smiles he saved only for me that he loved me. He had never admitted to me how he felt; he had too much respect for me and my broken heart to change the way we were together.

"Bella" I jumped at the sound of Jacobs voice bringing me out of my thoughts.

Damn my noisy truck, I could never make a quiet entrance. I finished parking my truck and carefully stepped onto the ground.

"Why haven't you been to see me since Saturday, I've missed you" he pulled that adorable puppy dog face he so often did to get sympathy.

"Oh be quiet Jake, I do have other things to do other than see your ugly mug."

"Bella I'm hurt" Jacob clutched his chest in a mocking way; he never failed to make me laugh.

We walked side by side into Jacobs's house; as usual Billy was at the Clearwater's. Ever since Harry's death he and Charlie seemed to spend most of their time there helping out as much as they could.

I loved Jacobs's house, it had become my second home, it felt like my real home.

"Help yourself to a drink Bell's; you know where the fridge is" Jacob throw his heavy load onto the sofa.

I sighed, always the host was Jacob.

"There's a bonfire party at the beach tonight, fancy coming?"

"There's another one? What you all celebrating this time Jake?" Bonfire party's seemed to be a weekly event with the pack.

"Life Bells don't need an excuse to have fun!" Jacob chuckled.

"I can't Jake, I have an essay to finish and I've delayed that long enough"

"You need to chill Bell's, one night not working isn't going to kill you ya know!"

I rolled my eyes; Jacob always found a way to convince me.

I spent most of the day just hanging out with Jake, talking about everything and nothing. Since the pack had hunted down and killed Victoria last month we had a lot of free time together. I decided to head home before the gathering to get changed and at least make the effort to look half decent. I never felt the need to dress up around Jake, I could wear my PJ'S around him and he wouldn't care. It was 7 o'clock and it was just starting to get dark when I pulled up near the beach. I could see everyone sitting and some standing around the bright camp fire. I was glad I was wearing my black hoodie over the blue strapped top I was wearing, the air was cold tonight. I slowly walked over to my friends and was greeted by Jacob and Emily.

"Bella, I'm so glad you decided to come. I need someone who's sane around here, the guys are defiantly on a high tonight" Emily laughed as she hugged me.

I looked towards Jacob who was staring at me; he smiled and grabbed my hand.

"Why do you take so long to get ready Bella, I missed you?" He laughed in a jokey way but his eyes were serious.

"Jake I was gone two hours, if you missed me after that short space of time then you seriously need to get more of an active social life" I poked my tongue out and ruffled his hair. The truth was in the two hours I was apart from Jacob today it felt like days, I always missed Jake when I wasn't with him.

The party was in full swing by the time I sat down, most of the pack were drinking beers and laughing loudly at Quill's stupid jokes. I hated to admit it but I was having fun, Emily was always good company and every now and then Jake would randomly come and put his arm around me making me go all warm inside.

"Bella, can we go for a walk?" he looked deep into my eyes.

"Sure" I looked at him puzzled.

We walked quite a way from the rest of the group and sat down at our usual spot, mine and Jakes tree.

"Bella I really need to talk to you, I guess I've kind of been avoiding doing this for ages but it's been 8 months and its killing me Bells. You have no idea what it's like for me" Jacob looked at his feet and sighed.

Oh god, he can't be, please say he isn't going to say what I think he's trying to say. I stared at him and bit my lip, after what seemed like hours Jacob looked up at me and stared into my eyes.

"I love you Bella, you have no idea how much I love you." His eyes burned into mine.

I couldn't talk, I couldn't breathe.

Of course I knew that Jacob loved me but I had been dreading this day for months. His intense stare was making me uncomfortable; I turned my head and looked out at the ocean. What was I going to do? Did I feel the same way? I mean I loved Jacob yes, I knew that I couldn't live without him anymore but was I in love with him? Did I love him the way I had loved Ed...Before? My thoughts were interrupted by a warm hand grabbing my own clutched one.

"Please say something Bella!"

Say something? How could I say something when I had no idea what the truth was anymore? Jacob clenched my hand tighter "Look I know that Edward really messed you up Bells but I'm not him, I could never leave you. Even if you hated me and didn't want me in your life anymore it's impossible for me to stay away from you Bella, can't you see that?" I could hear the desperation in Jacobs's words. It took all of my courage to turn and face him. His face, his eyes were so serious.

"Jake I...I don't know what I feel anymore. You have to understand how hard it is for me." I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. He continued to stare at me, never changing his expression, waiting patiently for me to continue.

"When I was with Ed...Edward I thought that I had met my soul mate; and that we were destined to be together. Everything was perfect, god I even planned on giving up my life for him Jake! I would have left all the people I loved behind just to be with him. As soon as I saw him he became my existence, the reason I was alive. He...he's broke my heart Jake, broke it. I can't even go a day without thinking about him at some point."

The tears poured freely down my cheeks now. Jacob just stared at me and softly wiped the tears away with his thumb.

"I love you Jake I really do but I'm not sure if that's enough, I'm not sure if I can ever fully give you my heart. I think somewhere deep inside I'll always be waiting for Edward to return and make me whole again. I really wish I didn't feel this way Jake and I'm trying to pull myself together I really am, I get better and better each day but I'm not complete yet. I'm not the same anymore." I let the tears flow freely and sobbed.

Jacob sighed "I hate him for doing this to you Bella; I really do" he pulled me towards his chest and hugged me, the warmth from his body made me calmer.

I didn't deserve him, I didn't deserve his love.

I looked up and stared into his eyes. I knew I loved him, I knew if I tried harder I could heal. I knew more than anything that I didn't want to lose Jacob, I couldn't lose Jacob. He was my everything now. Edward was gone and I needed to move on with my life. Before I had time to comprehend my actions I was moving my face up towards Jacobs, he looked at me with such love in his eyes. What if I was meant to be with Jacob? What if I could be complete with him? I leaned closer and before I had time to catch my breath our lips were touching.


	2. Chapter two

Chapter two

It's been seven days since I last talked to Bella, seven days! It's hard enough not seeing her but she's been avoiding my calls as well. If I had known that my confessions would have had this effect on her and our relationship I would never have said anything. That amazing kiss we shared has had a completely different outcome then I hoped for. I know she's still hurting, I know that he hasn't left her heart yet but why can't she see that were meant to be together? He was always meant to leave, he might have loved her but he was never Bella's soul mate. She was never destined to be with him, she's meant to be with me, my Bella. I can't even tell her the truth, I love her too much to put her though any more pain and confusion. I've loved her since the first time I saw her, I've always known that she was my destiny, as soon as fate put us together I knew that Bella was my soul mate. I just wish she would realise it too. The imprinting thing neither shocked or surprised me, I wasn't even sure that it had happened because nothing really changed. I felt exactly the same about Bells as I always had, the only difference is now I've imprinted the guys have stopped making fun of me.

Emily's famous blueberry muffins always used to cheer me up, but even they weren't doing the trick. The whole pack of course knew everything, didn't have much choice in that, but they all kept being optimistic, it was driving me nuts. I couldn't even laugh when Embry fell off his chair while attempting to tell a joke. I was seriously depressed, I needed Bella.

"Jacob." Sam called me from the kitchen.

"What?" I dually replied not really paying much attention.

"I want to talk to you about something; will you come with me to the store to get the stuff for the BBQ?" Sam asked, or should I say ordered.

"Whatever." I didn't have the patience or energy to argue.

The 5 minute drive to the local store was silent, awkward and tense. I knew Sam was waiting for the right moment to give me the lecture I was here for.

"Just get it over with Sam, say what you've brought me here to say!" My lack of patience was wearing thin.

Sam sighed "I just can't understand why you're acting this way Jacob! I know Bella's been avoiding you but you know full well that it won't last forever."

"I know that Sam, I'm fully aware that it won't last forever but Jesus, an hour away from Bell's is bad enough!"

"I know, I'm not justifying the fact that the bond between you both makes it hard for you to be apart but really, all this moping around is really effecting the pack."

"Oh that's why you're so bothered about my problems, the pack! Couldn't let poor Jacob effect your precious pack now could we!"

I was furious, it was bad enough having to share every living thought with 8 other people but to be accused of 'effecting the pack' when they had to endure Leah's thoughts all the time, well it was damn right insulting.

"You know I didn't mean it like that Jacob! You and Bella are meant to be together, she will realise that soon enough." He tried to reassure me,

" What if she doesn't though? What if that blood sucking leech has messed her head up so much that she doesn't follow her heart, her destiny?" I glanced at Sam's face and dropped my eyes.

"You know if you told her that she was your imprint I'm sure she would be a lot less messed up and confused then she is now Jake."

Sam parked the car inside the Stores parking lot, he didn't move to leave the car he just stared at me waiting for an answer.

"I don't want her to know." I confessed.

Sam's expression grew to confusion "I don't understand, your contradicting yourself now."

"I want her to love me for who I am, she has to realise that were meant to be together herself. Not just because of the imprinting."

Sam stared at me with sympathy; I had admitted the real reason behind my sadness, the reason why I was a complete and utter mess and I felt more vulnerable than I ever had before.

"Bella is meant to be with you, you are bounded together but you could see the love between you both before you even knew that you were a wolf. I see it every time your together Jacob, Bella loves you. Just give her time to heal and I know that imprint or no imprint she will follow her heart." Sam smiled a reassuring smile and stepped out of the car leaving the impact of his words with me.

The conversation with Sam kept playing over and over in my mind; i hoped for the sake of my sanity that he was right. I wouldn't tell her about the imprinting, that much was true but I could tell her how much I loved her, how much I needed her. Before I knew it I was out of the car and running. I started towards the forest nearby pulling my clothes off as I did. I changed into my wolf form mid run at the entrance of the trees. One of the best parts about being a werewolf was the speed. I loved sprinting through the open trees; it helped numb the ache in my chest. I speed up my running as the sight of Bella's house was in the near distance. Just a short way from the woods I could see her back garden. I decided to stop and change back into my human form and put my clothes on, turning up naked probably wasn't the best idea in the world. I could see her standing in the kitchen washing the dishes. I wondered what it would be like if that were Bella doing the dishes after our family had just eaten. I could see our children running around the kitchen and me with my arms around my wife. I shook my head and came back to reality, god she even looked beautiful with soap studs in her hair! I slipped around to the front door without her seeing me and knocked, I couldn't wait to see her. After the second knock she answered, still with dripping wet hands and now wet hair.

"Jacob?" She seemed surprised and happy, that was a good sign I guess?

"God I've missed you so much Bella. I know things have been a bit weird between us but I just couldn't wait another day!" I put my arms out to embrace her, just like I always did but this time she pulled away.

She must have seen the hurt in my face because her expression suddenly softened. "I've missed you too Jake."

I could see in the way she was leaning away from me that she felt awkward. It was breaking me seeing her act like this around me.

I shuffled my feet to distract myself from the tension that was beginning to mount. Bella hasn't moved, she's doing that adorable thing with her lip. After about a minute of silence I decided to be the first to break it.

"God this is so stupid! You kissed me, so what? I loved it; actually it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. So If you think I'm going to stand here and wait for you to apologise for what happened then you're wrong. I'm glad you kissed me Bella; I'm glad that for one night you actually followed your heart and forgot about that bastard who left you. I'm not expecting you to be with me yet, I'll wait for you forever if I have to but know that I love you with all my heart and that will never change. Everything you felt for Edward I feel for you a million, no a lifetime's worth of love more." I passionately ranted.

Bella stood in shock, mouth open slightly, body unmoved. I felt exhilarated.

I decided to push my luck, I stepped closer and cupped Bella's face with my hands

"I will always love you Bella." I whispered into her ear and pressed my lips onto her own.

Before Bella had chance to reply or even look at me I turned around and ran,.

I know she needed time to think.


	3. Chapter three

Chapter Three

I thought things were complicated enough in my life, but things have never been more confusing. Jacobs's confessions have put a whole new drama into my life. I knew everything he said was the truth; I've known it for months. But the way he spoke to me, that intense look he gave me, it scared me. It scared me because in those short few minutes, I really saw how much he loves me. I keep thinking back to the night at the beach, that kiss we shared, the warm feeling that ran inside me when he touched me. It's not the same as when I was with Edward, it's not electric or breath-taking it's real and passionate. I feel as though a whole new part of me is being opened up that I didn't even know existed. I still miss Edward. Every day I think about him, but it doesn't cut me now. I can still feel the ache in my chest. It's still there when I see my broken car stereo or the blue sweater he loved so much on me, but it passes as quickly as it comes. I know I will always love Edward, he was my life for some time but now he's gone and I have to move on. Jacob is here, he's always been here. Waiting patiently, watching me fall in love with another man. Holding me while I cry, listening for hours while I spilled my broken heart out to him, and all the time he loved me. I was naïve enough to think it was a school boy crush but he truly loves me, just as much maybe more then I loved Edward. I had to be honest with myself and admit that I had fallen in love with Jacob.

Before I had time to even think through what I was going to say I was parked outside Jacobs house. I walked towards the door, trying to calm my nervous. Before I had chance to knock the door swung open, Jacob stood there with a confused smile across his face.

"Bella?"

"Hey Jake" I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

"I need to talk to you."

"Everything OK right? I mean with us. I know I sort of sprung a lot of stuff on you last week but it doesn't mean I didn't want us to stop being best friends!"

"I know that Jake, look can we go somewhere where we can talk alone?" I could see Billy looking our way from the living room window.

"How about the Garage?"

I nodded my head and looked at my feet as we started to walk towards Jacobs make shift garage. This was not a time to be falling sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, my voice lost.

"So hmm how's school?" Jake attempted to make small talk.

"You're asking me about school?" I laughed.

"Yeah I guess I am." He smiled his Jacob smile at me, the smile that got me every time.

"Can we just cut the small talk now please Jake, I know your dying to know why I've come to see you but it's not that easy for me."

"Just tell me Bella, you know you can tell me anything."

"I've been thinking, a lot about what you said, what you told me last week." I confessed.

"Right" Jacob looked nervously at the floor.

"I'm just, I know, I'm just, I'm sorry" I could feel the tears starting to weal up in my eyes.

"What? I'm confused. Are you apologising to me?"

I nodded.

"But why? I should be saying sorry to you. You didn't need to hear that stuff from me Bell's, I meant it yeah but there's a time and a place and I shouldn't have told you yet." Jacob walked towards me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, I instantly felt better.

"Yes you should of Jake, you should have told me. I'm an idiot, don't you dare apologise to me. You've been nothing but good to me for the past 9 months, god I don't know what I would have done without you. I always knew that you loved me, I just didn't realise how much. The other night when you told me, I realised I was being selfish. I've been crying to you for months over Edward and never even considered your feelings."

Jacob stared at me.

'You love me the same don't you? The same as I loved him?"

I looked into his eyes; I could see the pain I was causing him, if only he knew what I was trying to say.

"More." He simply replied

I needed to word it right, I needed him to believe what I was saying. He needed to know I wanted him, and not just because Edward was gone either.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you the way he hurt me Jake, I really am. I was a mess, a complete and utter mess. You've made me complete again, my personal sunshine remember? There's a part of me alive that I didn't even know existed because of you."

"But you will never stop loving him, right?" I could see the heartbreak on his face.

"In a way no, he was my first love and I will never forget him."

"Right, I get it, why are you telling me this Bella? As if I couldn't hurt any more then I have done already." Jacob stormed out of the garage, not giving me the chance to explain.

"Because I want to be with you, not Edward. I've fallen in love with you!" I shouted as loud as I could manage.

I crumbled to the floor; my heart couldn't take much more. I buried my head into my arms and sobbed.

"What did you say?"

I looked up and saw Jacob standing over me.

"I'm in love with you Jake, I don't want Edward any more, not even if he came back and wanted me. You have my heart now, can't you see that? You healed it and now it's yours."

He said nothing, just held out his hand for me and lifted me to my feet.

"You mean it? You're not just using me for second place?"

"How could you even think that?" Those words cut me.

Then he smiled, a great big goofy smile at me.

"And you promise to be mine forever?" He placed his hand on my cheek.

"I promise"

"And you'll marry me?" Jacob held my face in his hands and stared into my eyes.

Did he just?... I stumbled and nearly fell to the floor.

"Are you proposing to me?" To say I was shocked was an understatement.

"Yes. Well sort of." Jacob laughed.

"Jake, we've been together for about 2 minutes. Rush much?"

"I'm not saying let's get married now Bell's, I'm just unofficially asking for the future ya know? I need to know you want this as much as I do."

He grabbed my face and kissed me, passionately, intensely, magically. I was lost for words.

"Just promise me one day you will be Mrs Black?"

I nodded.


	4. Chapter four

Chapter four

The past two months have been pure bliss, me and Bells couldn't be happier. All of my dreams and wishes were real now. Bella was mine and we were finally together. She didn't know the truth yet, about me imprinting but I was ready to tell her. I didn't want us to have any secrets. It had become a daily routine for Bella to drive down and see me every night, she insisted on coming to me because dad was out most of the time so we got the house to ourselves.

"Jacob are you even listening to me?" Bella moaned pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry Bells was just thinking about you. "I smiled and kissed her hand.

She blushed; I loved it when she blushed because of me.

"Well you're never going to pass your English exam unless you listen Jake"

"I know but there's something I need to talk to you about." No time like the present I thought.

"I'm all ears." she smiled.

"Well it's sort of a big deal Bella, I'm not really sure how you're going to take this but you have a right to know."

"Jacob what are you hiding? I thought I knew everything there was to know." She narrowed her eyes in concern and disappointment.

"I imprinted Bella." the words poured out of my mouth before I could stop them.

Bella looked shocked and hurt.

"I was afraid this was going to happen." She started to cry.

"No I meant I imprinted on you Bella!" I quickly explained. This was going terribly wrong.

"What?" She looked up in confusion.

"I told you that you were always my soul mate Bells and I was right." I leaped up to hold her in my arms. I never wanted to let her go.

"You imprinted on me and you never told me. You've known for what 10 months Jake, why? I don't understand!" She pushed my arms out of the way, she was pissed.

"I'm sorry, I know I should have told you but I didn't want you to know at the time."

"You didn't want me to know! What other secrets are you hiding from me Jake? I thought I could trust you but I guess I was wrong."

She was screaming at me, she looked at me like she hated me. It broke me to see her acting this way. Why do things always mess up when I'm around?

"You can trust me Bells; it's my fault for being such an idiot. I just wanted you to love me for me not because of the imprint thing. I wanted you to see that you loved me without feeling forced."

Bella just stood there and said nothing, the silence was painful.

"Your right, you are an idiot. How could you even think that? I love you Jacob Black, the imprint thing it's just an added extra."

And then we kissed, and kissed, and just stared at each other.

"So I'm your soul mate then?" Bella stared into my eyes and smiled.

"You sure are, and I'm yours."

"I can't believe it took me this long to realise it. All those months with Edward and all along I was meant to be with you." she looked amazed.

"But your here now Bella, that's all that counts. The imprint thing doesn't make a difference Bells, I loved you before I was even a werewolf."

I could live off Bella's kisses. The electric that ran through me every time our lips touched drove me wild. I wanted to kiss every part of her skin, to hold her in my arms forever. My head started to spin and my heart was pounding, I could feel her breath on my lips. I caught my breath and couldn't help but pull away and stop our kissing. My trousers were undone and my T-shirt pulled up.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

"I thought that was pretty obvious." She giggled and gave me an overwhelming sexy smile.

"Are you sure? I mean you said you wanted to wait."

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." She said it with such a serious tone that I knew she meant every word.

I could feel myself getting hot, I had dreamt of this happening for months, imagined what it would be like. But now it was here I was scared to death. I had no experience at this kind of thing at all. What if I messed up? Oh god. I could feel my hand's start to shake. Bella stood up and held out her hand for me to grab. She stopped right outside my bedroom door.

"If you don't want to then you know that's fine right?" She stared at me.

I nodded my head and gulped. As if I didn't want this, she was my soul mate and I was so deeply in love with her it actually made me want to burst. I smiled and pulled myself together. I grabbed her face and kissed her, pushed the door open and laid her on the bed, never letting go of her lips.

_Perfect- An instance of excellence, exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose._

I stared at Jacob as i lay in his arms while he was sleeping, he was snoring lightly and every so often he would mummer something unrecognisable. I never imagined that my life would go in this direction. I thought that by now I'd be well on the way if not already a vampire and part of the Cullen family. It all feels like a lifetime ago now. Edward is a distant memory that pops into my head every so often. It scares me to think that I very nearly threw all this away. I nearly passed by my soul mate and I wouldn't have even known it. It all makes perfect sense, the heartache, the near death experiences, and the confusion. My path was always meant to end up here; I just took the long route around.

"This is amazing isn't it?" Jacob startled me.

"It's more than amazing, its perfect." I was in awe.

"Well I hate to blow my own trumpet an all but I was pretty great." He laughed.

"Oh shut up Jacob, you do know I could leave you right? I refuse to have a bighead as a boyfriend." I slapped his arm.

"No way Miss Swan, you will never leave me. You're bound to me didn't you know that?"

"Oh damn, well looks like I'm stuck with you forever. Too bad you suck in bed." I joked.

I held in my laughter as best as I could but the look on Jacobs face had me in hysterics.

"Oh you never just took that seriously?"

The look was still there.

"Oh my god, you did!" I laughed even harder.

I was weak with laughter, sometimes my big strong wolf man was more sensitive than anyone I had ever met.

"I was joking Jake, really I don't think it's possible for someone to be as happy as I am right now." I pecked his lips.

"That's not funny Bella; it was my first time as well you know."

"Well then, neither of us has anyone else to compare with so that's good right?"

"Stop it Bella. You're not funny!" He sulked.

He pulled a serious face and then burst out laughing. We were perfect.


	5. Chapter five

Chapter five

Today is September the 14th, the day after my birthday and exactly one year since Edward left me. Yesterday was such a perfect day; Jacob went against my wishes and brought me a present. The necklace was perfect, it's a tribe Quileute necklace; he said it's a good luck charm to keep me safe whenever he's away. I spent the day on the beach with Jacob and the pack, the sun was actually out for once. I hated to admit but I enjoyed myself, nothing could be better. But today it was a different story. I can't help but feel empty, angry, hurt. I keep reliving the events of him leaving in my head, the hurt I felt for months afterwards. I wasn't expecting to feel like this today, I thought I was over the pain but it keeps hitting me reminding me of how I felt. The only thing that is keeping me going is the thought of being in Jacobs arms.

"Bella, Jacobs here!" My dad shouted up over the sound of football on the TV.

I smiled and ran down the stairs. My dad was of course ecstatic to see me back to normal, or as normal as I could be anyway. He loved Jacob and accepted him with open arms. As far as he was concerned the Cullen's never existed. I jumped into Jacobs strong arms and took in his scent, I instantly felt myself ease.

"I've missed you too." Jacob smiled down at me.

"I'm so glad you're here, today's been pretty bad."

"I know Bell's, don't worry I'm here now."

"Aren't you a bit pissed off though Jake? I mean I'm upset over the fact that my ex-boyfriend left me a year ago today. That's got to be hurting you?" I sympathised.

"Yeah I mean it does suck but it's just bringing back old feelings Bella, that's all. I know you love me and you're meant to be with me even if the leech does keep creeping back."

God I was lucky.

"I love you Jake. I'm so glad you understand." I reached for his lips.

"I love you too Bell's, always and forever."

Thank god the front door was closed or my dad would have hit the roof. He may approve of Jacob but he doesn't want to see us make out or get remotely intimate. We went and sat in the back garden, today was another sunny day and my dad was yet to leave me alone in my room with Jake.

"Bell's I've got some bad news. It really sucks and I've spent all morning trying to persuade my dad to let me stay here but it's no good."

"What you on about Jake?" He was blabbering as usual.

"Rachel's is getting married. Her boyfriend proposed and they want a quick, small wedding in Hawaii."

"Wow that is a surprise. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend!"

"Neither did we, but yeah she's getting married now. But the bad news is it's in 3 weeks and dad won't let me miss it. He says I have to be there because I'm her brother and all that crap."

"Yeah well he is right Jake, I'll miss you loads but you'll be back before you know it." I couldn't tell him that I would ache for him if he went away.

"That's the thing; I'll be there for 6 weeks." Jacob looked as sad as I felt.

"6 weeks? Why that long?" I moaned.

"Dad wants to spend some time with her, plus were meant to be looking after their house while they go on honeymoon."

I knew that I wouldn't cope; I'd miss him every day. I can barely go a day without seeing him let alone 6 weeks.

"OK well we will have to spend as much time together as we can until you go. I'll miss you." I confessed.

"I wish I didn't have to go. If it wasn't for the fact that Sam's promised to keep an eye on you I think I'd go mad."

The rest of the afternoon we hung out and talked, I planned on spending the next 3 weeks with Jacob as much as I could. At least then it would make up for all the lost time together whilst he goes away.

The 3 weeks passed to quickly. Jacob and Billy were over our house to say their goodbyes before they left. I could tell that Jacob had been arguing with his dad by the looks they were giving each other and the lack of conversation towards one another.

I kept my head nested into Jacobs's neck, trying to hold onto him for as long as I could.

"I don't want you to go." I confessed.

"I don't want to go."

We hugged silently for minutes.

"Promise me you will phone every day."

"Every day." He promised.

"Bell's if it gets to hard ill come home."

I didn't reply. As much as I wanted to say No, I couldn't. I could hear my dad and Billy approaching the front door. I grabbed Jacobs face and kissed him, with every ounce of passion I had.

"Ahem" My dad coughed and interrupted our kissing.

"Sorry dad." I blushed.

"That's OK kid, will forgive you this time. Just don't let me see that again. Your old dad's eyes can only take so much." My dad laughed.

"Bye Billy have a good time." I waved as dad wheeled him down the drive.

"Just promise me you will stay safe." Jacob looked into my eyes and pleaded.

"I'll try."

"I love you Bella, this is going to be hard but when I get back I'm going to kiss you and not let go for the rest of my life. "Jake smiled.

"Sound's good to me." We laughed.

"I love you Jake, have a good time."

I walked silently, reluctantly to the car. I gave Jacob one last kiss on the lips and then he drove off. I missed him already, this was going to be a long summer.


	6. Chapter six

Chapter six

The phone calls made me miss him more. I was trying to preoccupy myself but Jacob never left my mind. Nothing could make me happy; all I wanted was to see him. I knew this summer would be hard without him but I wasn't prepared for the empty feeling to come as it had once before when Edward had left. The only plus side this time around was I knew that Jacob was coming back and that he loved me. I know that Jake is missing me just as much, he tells me every time he calls.

"Bella Hun you need to stop moping around. Jakes only on vacation, he will be back before you know it." My dad tried reassuring me over breakfast.

"I wish it felt like that. I miss him so much."

"I know you do but he's back in 3 weeks Bella, make the most of your time off and start looking into colleges." The subject of my yet decided college was one my dad was constantly bringing up.

"I've been thinking dad, I've got some money saved away and even with tuition money covered there's still some left."

I could see that Charlie knew where my thoughts were heading.

"There's absolutely no way you're going to Hawaii Bella, you can get that thought out of your head!"

"It will only be for a few weeks dad, Billy will be there and I can apply to colleges anywhere, don't need to be in Forks to do that."

"NO! You need that money for when you go Bella, me and your mum have barely scraped enough money together for you let alone you spending the small amount that you have saved as well."

"Just let me go dad, I've got enough for the year if I include yours and mums money. I need to see Jake." I pleaded.

"For god's sake Bella the boys gone for 6 weeks not a year, stop acting like you will never see him again. Jake will be back, he's not Edward."

I could feel the tears trying to escape my eyes, how dare he. He had no idea what it feels like, no idea. I jumped up from my seat and ran up the stairs before I said something id later regret.

"Bella, I'm sorry." Charlie shouted up the stairs.

I slammed my door and throw myself on the bed trying to contain my anger.

I lay there for hours, pining for Jake. Trying to calm myself down and stopping myself from running down the stairs and screaming at my father. No matter how angry I was at him I knew that he was right. He just didn't understand the pain I was in, too many wounds were opening. Feelings that I had blocked out were resurfacing. I had no idea where I wanted to go to college, or better yet where I would get in. Jacob asked me nearly every night if I had applied to any, I could tell that he was just as worried as my dad. Dragging myself from the bed I opened the top draw of my desk which was full of unwritten college applications and unused beauty projects. I grab the first few applications from the top and went to close the draw, but that's when I saw them. Staring at me unopened and unused. I can feel the sweat beginning to form at the top of my head, my heart was racing and hands were trembling as I attempt to count back the days. My brain was too clouded with thoughts and fears to count. I picked up my calendar from my desk and began counting...1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 4 weeks, 5 weeks and …..6 days. Shit! My last period was 6 weeks ago. My body froze to the spot, I couldn't be could I? I'd only had sex once and that was nearly a month ago. The realisation hit me like a bolt of lightning; my last period was 6 weeks ago. I had sex for the first and only time 4 weeks ago and we were stupid enough to get taken away with the moment and not use any protection. Oh god I need Jacob, I think I'm going to pass out. I need to know if I am or not. I need to know before I can decide what to do.

I can see my dad sitting in his usual spot watching a baseball game. He briefly looks up at me when I reach the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm going to the store to buy some stamps to send off my application forms." I attempt to convince him.

"I thought you brought some the other day?"

"I've lost them." I manage to quickly cover my tracks.

"Looks Bell's I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to upset you. I wa"

"Look dad it's OK, can we just talk about this later. I kind of want to get there soon so I have time to catch the next post." I cut him off.

"Oh OK that's fine. I'm glad you've done something about the applications Bell's. See you later."

I ran out of the house and into my truck. Now all I had to decide is where to go, there's no way in a town this size I was going to the local pharmacy to buy a test. Charlie would know before I even had chance to take the thing. I started my car and headed for Port Angeles, the closest town where no one I knew lived.

I was analysing every person that stepped into the pharmacy, just to check if I knew them or recognised their face. I couldn't bring myself to leave the truck. In my whole life I never imagined being in this situation, sitting outside a pharmacy trying to get the courage to go and buy a pregnancy test, and the worse thing was I didn't have Jake with me to hold my hand. I managed to clear my head of all the thoughts that were swimming in it to check the time. I had been sitting in my truck for 2 hours, unmoved and petrified. I still didn't have an ounce of courage in me but I knew if I didn't go in now I never would. With every effort my body had I opened the truck door and stepped out onto the curve and walked into the pharmacy. By luck the shop was pretty empty. There was an old lady at the far end looking at hair products and a middle aged man standing near the allergy pills, but apart from that there was just the cashier looking rather bored staring out of the window. Now was the time. All I had to do was grab a test and pay for it, simple. I slowly made my way down every aisle, searching for the tests I was dreading to see. I was just making my way down the third aisle and I spotted them right next to the condoms, how contradicting. I stood at the hair brushes that were on display next to the condoms and tests, shifting my eyes so I could see what one to get. My hands began to shake as I reached for the one nearest to me. I quickly held it in my hand and walked to the cashier just wanting to get out of the shop as fast as I could. She instantly looked up at me when I approached her and smiled. I stood there hiding the test in my hands while the girl's expression began to become frustrated.

"Excuse me Miss?" She snapped.

I looked up and her and managed a smile.

"Can I help you?" She asked politely yet slightly irritated.

"I'd...I'd like to just buy this please." I barely whispered as I placed the pregnancy test on the belt. The girl looked down at the item I had placed with a smile that shifted instantly when she realised what I was buying. She scanned the test and told me the amount which I handed to her. I grabbed the bag and smiled at her in thanks, to which is received the dirtiest look I have ever been given.

The drive home was painfully long. I kept giving the bag sideways glances all through the journey. All I kept seeing was the cashiers face when she realised what I was buying and then the look she gave me as I left. Is this how people will look at me now? 18 year old slut with a baby just finished school with no future. My heart sank at the thought of telling my parents the news; I could already see the expression on Charlie's face as I told him, shock, disappointment, heartache. I ran through the door as soon as my truck was parked, noticing that my dad's cruiser was gone. I casually entered the house just to be safe and sighed with relief when I read the note from Charlie saying he had gone to Sue's and would be back about 6. I ran up to the bathroom and opened the box and stared at the test. This little stick in my hands was about to determine my future, the rest of my life. I pulled my jeans down and sat on the toilet. After waiting a few minutes the pee finally came and I held back a cringe as I went to pee on the stick. After I was done I read the instructions, I had to wait two minutes before the test results would show. I pulled my jeans up and sat back down on the toilet just staring at the stick waiting for any change. I can feel my whole body start to shake as I dropped the test on the floor and started crying. What if I am pregnant? What am I going to do? I'm only 18; I'm too young for a baby! What would Jake say? Does he even want kids? That conversation had obviously never come up. My whole body was shaking violently now, as I began to rock back and forth out of instinct. Please god, please make this be a false alarm. I promise ill use protection if we ever have sex again. Please don't ruin my life. I began to pray to god out loud, hoping that somehow he would hear me clearer this way. I wasn't religious but now seemed a good time to start believing. Just as I was about to plead with god some more an image come to my head.

I could see Jacob, he was smiling and he looked a bit older. His smile turned into a beam as he bent down and picked up...a little boy. He had jet black hair and dark skin just like Jake. They were laughing together and Jake was tickling him. I couldn't help but smile through my tears, this image made me happy. I knew then that I could face anything as long as I had Jacob in my life. I took advantage of this new found feeling and picked up the test that was lying face down on the floor. I closed my eyes and held by breathe; thinking of the image I had just seen I opened my eyes to face my fear...the test was positive.

I was pregnant.


	7. Chapter seven

Chapter seven

I ache for sleep; my body and mind are begging me to rest. It's one of the only things I didn't envy about Edwards life. Sleep takes you away from reality for a while, sleep makes you dream. I wanted so badly to be taken away from reality, just for a few hours. Every time I closed my eyes my mind thought of only one thing. The anxiety was beginning to take over; I could hear my heart beat quickening with every scenario that ran through my head. I couldn't take it anymore, laying on my bed attempting to sleep was just making things worse. I could see the sun rising through my curtains Charlie would be awake soon. So I lay on my bed some more trying to think of an excuse to get Jacob to come home early. There was no way I could tell him on the phone. I waited and waited until I heard Charlie wake up and get ready for work. What could I say to Jake? I didn't want to worry him but I knew that the reason needed to be good enough for him to persuade Billy to let him come. I could hear Charlie walking down the stairs and grabbing his belt. I sat up, anxious to hear Jacobs voice. As soon as I heard Charlie's car pull out of the drive way I ran downstairs and picked up the phone. I stood there staring into thin air for a while. I so badly want to talk to Jacob just to hear him breathe down the phone would be enough but I can't. I know if I rung him I would make him worried, he would panic and I would end up confessing all to him. I can't do that too him, not over the phone not without me there. His life was about to change just as much as mine and I owed it to him to be told in person. Everything was so messed up, why now? I could feel tears forming in my eyes. I tried to run up the stairs but the lack of energy I had just made me even clumsier. All I wanted was Jacob, he would know what to do, and he would say the right words to make me feel better. My bed looked so inviting; I wanted to scream in frustration for not being able to sleep. I could feel goose bumps on my bare arms as I stood in the doorway. The morning cold air was blowing through my open window; I walked over to close it. Why was my window open? The cold air just made me want to sleep even more. I shut the icy window and turned towards my bed. My heart leaped into my throat and I let out a gasp. Alice was standing right behind me.

"Calm down Bella, it's only me." Alice half laughed as I tried to steady my breathing.

"You half scared me to death. What are you doing here?" I smiled.

It was as though god had answered my prayers, Alice was the next best person I needed right now and she was here in my room.

"And there I was thinking you missed me." She sulked and pouted her lip.

"Of course I've missed you. More than you will ever realise." I pulled her into a hug, wrapping my arms around her cold body. I needed her more than ever.

"How have you been? How is everyone? Is Edward OK?" I started to panic.

"Their fine Bella, he's fine. I should be asking you the same question." Alice's expression quickly changed to concern.

I stared at her not saying a word. She must know, her visions must have shown it. I stared at her for a while, half ecstatic to see her and half wishing she hadn't of come. I wanted Jake to be the first to know, damn Alice and her visions.

"Bella. Why when I see your future can I see a baby too?"

She asked it, I knew it was coming yet when she said it I was almost shocked to hear the words spoken. Alice stared at me, waiting for my reply yet knowing the answer. Before I could answer tears began to flood my vision. All the emotion I've held in for the past 24 hours came pouring out. I've never seen Alice so patient and calm before. After crying on her shoulder until I had no more tears to cry I told her everything. I told her about my heartbreak for Edward, how Jacob was my only comfort. How I started to fall in love with him only to be told he was my soul mate. How happy we've been for the past few months, and his reason for being absent. Then I told her about yesterday, realising and finding out that I am pregnant. For once in her existence Alice seems speechless. The silence began to nerve me after a while.

"Alice please talk." I barely whisper, my voice was horse from sobbing.

The silence grew thicker.

"You need to tell Jacob." Alice finally said after a few more agonising minutes.

"I know Alice, but I can't exactly tell him over the phone can I?"

"He needs to know Bella, and you need him too. You're a mess without him here."

"I know." I couldn't deny it, she was right.

Before I could argue any more Alice had her mobile phone in her hand, reaching out to give it to me.

"Ring him." She ordered, as I grabbed the mobile.

I stared at the phone for a few more minutes, not quite sure if it was the right thing.

"I'll ring him Alice but I'm not telling him about the baby yet. I'll just ask him to come home; I have to think of an excuse."

Alice didn't protest but the look on her face told me she didn't approve either. I dialled the number that I had learnt off by heart and my leg started to shake as it began to ring. Alice placed her hand on my leg to stop it from shaking and smiled at me.

"Hello?" I heard a groggy version of Jacobs voice answer.

My heart swelled as soon as he spoke.

"Jake its me." My voice wobbled.

"Bella" I could hear the enthusiasm in his voice at the realisation of his caller.

I sighed into the receiver "Jake I miss you so much."

"I miss you too Bella, loads and loads." I could picture him smiling down the phone.

"Is everything OK? Don't get me wrong if anyone can get away with waking me up at this ridiculous time it's you but I know you wouldn't do it without a reason." He half joked.

"Not really Jake." I admitted. The tone of my voice was enough to give me away anyway.

"Why? What's happened? Are you OK?" The pitch of his voice got higher and higher with every question.

"I'm fine, no danger. Don't worry about that. I'm pretty sure your pack of wolf buddies have got that end covered."

"Then what's wrong?" He obviously didn't see the funny side of my joke.

"I need you to come home Jake. It's hard to explain over the phone, I can't really say anything until I see you in person. Just please come home?" I begged, pleaded.

"You need to tell me right now! What's wrong? You can't give me a half answer like that and expect me to be fine with it. Come on Bella, it's me. You can tell me anything."

I wanted him here so I could wrap him in my arms and never let go. This was harder then I imagined. I was fighting with myself over whether to tell him the truth or not. He was right; he wouldn't rest if I didn't give him a reason. Even if he jumped on the next plane he would be worried sick until he got here.

"Alice is back!" I suddenly said out loud to him.

"Is this the reason you want me to come home? Has something happened with the blood...Cullen's?"

"Yes." I lied.

"I need you to come home and be with me Jake. It's really hard being around Alice. It's bringing back memories and it's worse because you're not here." I hated lying to him, but I knew that I had a good reason for doing it.

"Right. Well I can ask my dad and explain the Cullen's are back. I'm sure he will want to be there as well. You know he doesn't trust them." Jacob admitted.

"I know. I'm sorry Jake; I know you're meant to be on holiday. I didn't want to ring you and ask you to come home. I just...I'm finding it hard to live without you." Cliché as it was, it was true.

"Awe Bella you going all soft on me while I've been away?" Jacob teased.

"No, shut up Jake." I managed a half laugh.

"I'll go and talk to my dad, see what I can arrange. Hopefully I'll be home before you know it."

"OK Jake, Ring me as soon as you know. I love you."

"I love you too Bella. Oh and Bells, I'm finding it hard to live without you too."

Then he hung up. I felt better, not fully but a lot more then I had been after speaking to him.

"He's a lot nicer then I remember." Alice smiled towards me.

"He's always been nice." I defended him.

The rest of the afternoon I spent catching up with Alice. She told me about the Cullen's and how they all missed me. They were living in Alaska now; apparently they all want to come back but won't out of respect for Edward. Alice told me about Jasper and the guilt he feels for what he did. How Edward hasn't been himself since leaving and how empty he's become. Hearing about Edward was giving me mixed feelings. I felt anger towards him because he had no right to feel empty; he left me not the other way around. I also felt sad for him and desperate to tell him how I wasn't the girl he was meant to be with. I drove Alice to her old house; she wanted to visit there for memory's sake. I found myself constantly smiling as we entered the Cullen's old home. I loved this house; I had missed it almost as much as I missed the Cullen's. We spent some time there, collecting some things that had been left behind and just thinking back. My stomach was beginning to grumble, it was almost 2pm and I hadn't eaten a thing all day.

"Come on let's go back to yours and find you some food. The baby's hungry." Alice said in her back to normal cheery self.

As I walked through the front door, leaving Alice behind for a few minutes so she could collect some more of her things I suddenly stopped in my tracks. I think the lack of sleep is making me hallucinate. I rub my eyes as a way to wake myself up, but he's still there. Standing by my car and looking as beautiful as ever is Edward. Before I blink again he's standing directly in front of me.

"Edward." I manage to choke out.

He stared into my eyes in a way that's making me go dizzy and my heart thump louder.

I can feel myself beginning to fall, but my body doesn't hit the ground. Edward has me in his arms, just a few centimetres from the floor. I stare up at him and feel like crying, smiling, shouting and touching his face all at the same time.

"Bella" His voice sings to me. He is as beautiful and breath-taking as the last time I saw him.

"Is it true?" He asked with sadness in his tone. "Are you pregnant?"


	8. Chapter eight

Chapter eight

"It's my fault. I tried to block my visions and thoughts from him but I slipped up." Alice appeared behind me.

"So it's true?" He asked again.

"Yes." I admitted.

"You're pregnant?" Edward seemed shocked.

"Yes." I repeated, not sure what else I could say.

It felt wrong to be having this conversation with Edward. My life had changed so much in the past year but seeing him again, seeing the pain in his face as I confirmed the inevitable, it was so unreal.

"This is my fault." How could he possibly take the blame for me being pregnant with another man's child?

"I should never have left Bella." The expression that was painted on his face alarmed me; I have never seen him look so hurt not even when he left me.

"Edward, you can't possibly blame your leaving on me being pregnant." I tried to make him see sense.

"I was a fool, I thought by leaving you that you would be safe. I never imagined that you would get with a wear wolf, and end up carrying his child. It took everything in me to walk away, I have been empty since. You have my heart Bella, when I left, I left it with you."

I was stunned, he loved me? After all the hurt I went through, all the tears I cried he only left me to keep me safe? I resented the ache that had formed in my chest. I shouldn't be feeling this devastated over someone that shouldn't matter to me anymore. But I couldn't lie to myself, he still did matter. I still felt dizzy when he stared into my eyes; my hands ached to touch him, to feel his cold skin against mine. Just being in his presence it felt like he had never left. Like the past year had been a dream, the baby that grew inside of me didn't exist. The thought of Jacob made me feel guilty. I instinctively held my stomach silently apologising for even thinking that way. Edward stared at me patiently waiting for me to answer but I had no words.

"I need to think." I confessed. "This is all, it's too much."

He politely nodded and vanished before I had time to comprehend the action.

"He will always feel that way you know. No matter what happens, he loves you Bella."

I was shocked by the voice that had broken the silence, forgetting that Alice was standing behind me.

"I know. I don't know what to do Alice. I don't know what to think, what to feel. Everything is so messed up." I felt myself sink into a wave of despair as Alice held me in her arms and let me sob for the second time that day.

"It's wrong but I still feel love for Edward. Seeing him today, it's just brought back so many feelings and memory's but there's Jacob now." The thought of him made me smile.

"He is my soul mate Alice. I love him."

"I know you love him Bella, but you love Edward too. You need to do what your heart is telling you too."

"What about the baby? He or she exists and Jacob doesn't even know he's going to be a father! I don't even know if he will be happy or sad or how he will feel about it."

"I'm sure Jacob will be happy Bella. He loves you, and I'm positive he will love your child.

"I'm keeping it you know." I rubbed my belly and smiled.

"Since I found out yesterday, I've had time to accept that I am pregnant. Now I couldn't imagine life without it. I couldn't get rid of it ,I love it." The love for my child that already soared through me was stronger than any id felt before.

I spent the rest of the day being comforted by Alice. When the sun started to set I knew I had to go home, Charlie would be getting worried. Alice drove me there; I was in no state to drive. I wiped my eyes and painted a fake smile when I saw my dad who was shocked to see my company. He welcomed Alice with open arms and offered her a place to stay during her visit. My dad had always liked Alice. I managed to sleep, the sheer exhaustion of the day's events and the sleepless night before made me crash out as soon as my head hit the pillow. As soon as I woke up my mind went back to over thinking everything. I thought through every possible outcome, analysed every reaction, but in the end it came down to one thing.

"I love Jacob."

Alice looked at me and nodded. She would never admit it but I knew that she was disappointed.

"The love I feel for him Alice, it's more then what I had with Edward. It's so much more. He is my everything and although it broke me to loose Edward I survived. I know I couldn't without Jake."

"Whatever makes you happy Bella. Although I can't say I'm not disappointed that you're not going to be my sister" Her warm smile was genuine.

"You will always be my sister." I smiled back at her. This seemed to make her happier.

"Shall I find Edward?"

"Please."

I had to prepare myself for the conversation that was about to take place. It wasn't going to be easy but it wasn't fair on Edward to leave him hurting. He might have done it to me, for what he thought was the right reasons but I wouldn't put him through the same pain. I walked outside and waited, not wanting him to come inside and bring back even more memories. He silently approached me from the forest where I suspect he had been all night, he was walking at a human pace, looking as perfect as he always did.

"Alice was blocking her thoughts." He informed me once he stood in front of me.

"Edward."

"It's not good news is it?" His pained expression made me cringe.

"No, I'm sorry."

"You have to give me another chance Bella. I can't live without you. I was going to come back soon anyway. I wasn't coping, I missed you so much. Please forgive me Bella. Please take away the pain I feel and forget we ever left each other's sides." He begged.

I hated seeing him reduced to begging, it was so unlike him to be weak.

"It would never go back to the way it was Edward. I'm a mother now."

"I could help you raise the baby, we could be a family. Anything that's apart of you, I know I would love." The desperation in his voice grew.

"Edward please don't. You're making this harder for me. I love you, I really do. I think a part of me will always love you but I can't Edward. I won't live without Jake. I don't want to hurt you, I hate seeing you like this but you have to know the truth. Jacob is my soul mate, he imprinted. Were destined to be together, always have been. I will never regret the time we spent together but I honestly believe that even if you hadn't of left me I would have ended up with Jacob anyway. It's my destiny Edward and this baby is my destiny."

"Is there no hope at all?" He cried tearless sobs.

"I'm sorry." My chest was convulsing with the sobs that I was uncontrollably making.

"I will never stop loving you Bella. I will never forgive myself for leaving you but I will accept your choice. I will always be there for you, and I am never leaving you again."

"Please don't waste time blaming yourself Edward. I forgive you, and I hope that we can still be a part of each other's life's."

I reached for his neck and pulled him into my chest, as we both said goodbye to the past.

"Bella" Shivers ran down my spine as he whispered into my ear.

"Please could you do one last thing for me?"

"Anything" I couldn't deprive him.

"Kiss me. So I can hold onto to that kiss for the rest of my existence. So I can say goodbye."

I knew that I shouldn't but I wanted to kiss him just as much. My tongue licked my dry lips at the thought. I reached my head up and placed my lips on his. I let the past take over me for a few moments. Taking in the feeling and closing it in a box that would never be opened again.

"NO!" I jumped at the scream I heard coming from the forest.

My heart nearly burst when I saw him there.

"Jacob, this is not what you think." I anxiously shouted towards him.

"How could you Bella? After everything we've been though." Tears covered his face and his body shook in anger. I ran as fast as I could towards him, trying to make him see reason. But I was too late, he was gone.

"No Jacob, Please. I love you! I choose you! Please?" I shouted to the empty forest as I sank to the floor.


	9. Chapter nine

Chapter nine

It's now exactly one week that Jacob has been missing. No one knows where he is, he hasn't been in contact with anyone. Billy is frantic; he's blaming the Cullen's for Jacobs's disappearance. I've told him what happened and explained about the kiss that Jacob saw and that it was nothing more than a goodbye but he doesn't believe me. He won't even look at me anymore. He thinks that me and the Cullen's had it planned all along, that their taking out the pack one by one. Not even my dad can get through to him. I've spent every day uselessly walking around Forks and La Push, hoping and praying that I would find him. I felt disgusted in myself I should never have even considered kissing Edward no matter how innocent it may have been. The pack have split into teams and are searching the coast, they know that Jacob is in his human form because none of them have heard his thoughts, not once. I thought after a few days he would have come back and given me a chance to explain but he thinks I've deceived him in the worst possible way. He thinks after everything we've been through that I have gone back to Edward. My heart is in a constant ache. My days have turned into blurred lengths of time, searching and worrying about Jacob. The only reason I allow myself to eat and sleep properly is for the baby's sake. Alice and Edward have been staying at their old home refusing to leave me and spending any free time searching for Jake. Charlie was furious when he found out that Edward was back, he even threatened to use his gun and hunt him down. I eventually calmed him by convincing him that I had no intentions of getting back with Edward.

The rain was so heavy today it was making a thumping noise when it hit my windows and roof. Breakfast was yet another bleak full silent event. Charlie sat reading his newspaper whilst I tried to stomach down some toast.

"Bella we need to talk."

"Please dad, I couldn't bare another lecture about Edward." I inwardly sighed at the thought.

"This isn't about him. I'm worried about you." He gave me his full attention as he rested the newspaper on the table.

"I know you're obviously worried about Jacob and missing him Bella but I can see you starting to be like you were before. You know, when Edward left." He paused.

"This is nothing like that dad. This is worse." I openly and true fully admitted.

"I can't see you like that again Bella. I hated it. My daughter vanished for a few months back there and I won't see it happen again."

My dad rarely showed me affection or discussed it, but on the rare occasion that he did, he really showed how much he loved me.

"I promise you I won't be like that this time."

"I don't believe you. I know your probably trying to convince yourself that your fine but your clearly not. You just said yourself this time is worse. I think you need to live with your mum for a while, just until Jacob gets back."

I was getting a serious sense of Deja vu.

"Not this again dad, please listen to me. I will not get into that state again, I'm holding myself together. I have too." I hoped he could sense how serious I was.

"I'm sorry Bella; I think I know what's best for my own daughter. You can try and convince me all you want but you're going to your mothers!" Frustrated and annoyed, Charlie stood up from his chair.

"I have to hold myself together dad please, I want to be here. I want to look for Jacob. This is my fault and I'm not walking away!" I was not backing down, if he wanted me to go to my mum's then he would have to drag me.

"Why do you keep saying you have to hold yourself together? It didn't stop you from falling apart last time Bella."

"I just have too." I shouted as an attempt to show him how serious I actually was.

"Why?" He pestered.

"I just do, this time is different." I pushed myself past him and walked away. This conversation was going too far.

"How is this time different?" He followed behind me.

"There is no difference Bella."

"Because this time I'm pregnant!" The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.

Charlie stood staring at me in shock, mouth wide open. After a few minutes of calming myself down I spoke again.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I shouldn't have shouted it out like that."

"You're pregnant? How?" He was stunned.

"Well I would have thought that was pretty obvious." In any other situation I would have laughed at his response.

"No, Yes, No I meant when? Who? It's not Edward's is it?"

"For god's sake, how many times do I have to tell you? I am not with Edward and just to make things clear. I was never with Edward in that way either."

"Jake." He confirmed to himself rather then asked.

"How long have you known?"

"Since last week, I wanted Jacob to be the first to know before I told anyone else. I still don't know how he will take the news." Thinking about it made me bust out crying..

"Oh Bella Hun, you've been going through all this alone. You really are holding yourself together considering the situation." He gently wrapped his arms around me and held me.

"For the baby's sake." I whimpered.

"I take it your keeping it then?"

"How could you even ask me that? Of course I'm keeping my baby." Anger filled my voice.

"Sorry. Your right. I shouldn't have even thought that." He quickly apologised.

"So Jacob doesn't know?" He questioned.

"No" More tears filled my eyes.

"It's OK Bella; we will find him and put this mess right." He lovingly stroked my hair.

I needed to go out and search for Jacob. I smiled at my dad and went to get my coat.

"Bella what are you doing?"

"Going to look for Jacob" I simply stated.

"Oh no you're not. Not in this rain, not in your condition." He demanded.

"I've been doing it all week dad."

"Yes but that was before I knew about my grandchild."

The pleasant phrase that was so easily said by Charlie shocked me. I did not think that he would react this well. Although I suspected that if the father of his grandchild had been Edward then it would have been a different story. I spent the rest of the day stuck inside with my feet up which Charlie had demanded I do. I was itching to look for him; I felt useless and annoyed being stuck at home. I had read the same line of my book at least ten times, my mind was too preoccupied. There was a knock at the door, wondering who it could be I walked and opened it to find Edward standing there.

"Edward why did you knock the door?" I smirked.

"I didn't want to frighten you, not in your condition."

"Why does everyone keep saying that? I'm pregnant not ill." I signed in frustration.

Edward smiled his dazzling smile at me, melting me to the spot.

"I've come to say goodbye." My smile vanished.

"Oh, I thought you said you were staying?" I couldn't help but feel disappointed.

"I will be back. I promised you I would never leave you again and I intend to stick to that promise, I am after all your friend."

"Then why are you saying goodbye?" My eyebrow etched with confusion.

"I feel responsible for a lot of things Bella. I want to go and find Jacob."

"Everyone's already looking Edward."

"I know but I am much faster than any werewolf, I could search double the amount of area they do in the same time."

He was right, Edward was exceptionally fast.

"If you do find him, what if Jacob hurts you?" I knew this was more than a possibility.

"If I find him I am prepared for any possible outcome Bella. I will not harm him, or attempt to anger him in anyway. I have to try."

"OK your right, thank you Edward and be careful please."

"You the clumsy pregnant human are telling me the immortal strong vampire to be careful?" He joked.

"Yes I am." We smiled at each other and he vanished.

I was happy that me and Edward had come to a mutual understanding. We were friends, and I knew that he would be the best possible friend anyone could wish for. If anyone was determined or able enough to find Jacob, Edward would.


	10. Chapter ten

Chapter ten

"Come on Bella, were going to be late." Charlie had been stressed all day.

Today is my second scan, the scan where I can find out my baby's sex. I still haven't decided if I actually want to know whether my baby is a girl or boy. I don't like surprises but it feels wrong finding out if Jacob doesn't know. It's been over 3 months now since Jacob ran away. Every day I wake up forgetting that he's gone. I imagine him lying next to me, rubbing my belly and staring at me while I sleep. It brakes me every time I realise it's not real. The worse thing about it isn't him leaving me, it's him not knowing the existence of our child. At least I now know he's safe, wherever he is and whatever he's doing it calms me to know that. Billy woke up one morning to receive a letter saying,

_'I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Jake.'_

It wasn't a lot but it was enough to reassure everyone that he was at least safe. So everyone has stopped looking for him. Jacob obviously doesn't want to be found. Edward refuses to give up, he's travelled all over the country trying to track him down. I know he feels responsible for what's happened and will not give up until he finds him. There's nothing I can do any more, I've given up on my dreams. All that matters now is my baby, and with or without Jacob in our life's I will be the best possible mother I can be. Alice has been my source of strength, she may get a little too over excited about things but she's given up her life to be with me. Charlie says she's the only bit of happiness in our house at the moment. She never fails to make people smile no matter what mood there in. Charlie and Billy are being the perfect grandparents. Once Billy realised that it wasn't my fault he soon started smothering me and making me put my feet up and eat all the right foods. Charlie is even worse. If Jacob could see how there being I know he would laugh.

"Miss Swan?" A middle aged nurse stood in the entrance of the door.

"Looks like I'm up next." I smiled at my dad and Alice. I had been anxious for this day. My biggest fear was the doctor finding something wrong with my baby.

"Everything will be fine Bella." Alice gently patted my shoulder as I stood up to face my fear.

"Do you want me to come with you kid?"

"Of course I do dad." I smiled.

Charlie glowed at my reply.

"So Miss Swan, you're here for your 5 month scan?" The doctor made small talk as I lay on the bed.

"Please call me Bella." I insisted.

"Very well Bella. Have you decided if you would like to know the sex of your baby?" The kind faced doctor asked. He was so graceful and gentle in his movements. He reminded me so much of Carlisle.

"Yes I've been thinking a lot and I don't want to know the sex."

Alice looked at me with horror in her eyes. "You don't want to know!"

"No."

"But Bella, think of all the things you could buy if you knew the sex. You could get matching pink clothes if it's a girl and blue if it's a boy. Yellow and white is such a boring colour to dress a baby in."

I couldn't contain myself, I laughed and laughed. The doctor had to wait until I managed to compose myself before rubbing the stick on my belly, typical Alice to worry about clothes.

I had seen it once before but seeing it again still amazed me. My baby was there on the screen, its tiny feet moving around. It made everything so real seeing him or her. It was like opening your eyes for the first time in the morning after a dream. My baby, our baby existed and was growing fast.

"Wow, he sure is something." My dad edged closer to the screen.

"How do you know it's a he?" I wiped away the tears before anyone could see.

"I just have a feeling you know?" Charlie smiled.

"The baby looks nice and healthy Bella." The doctor smiled down at me. No problems at all and growing at a steady normal rate."

I sighed in relief. I placed the new scan pictures into a frame on my desk.

"What if I told you I already know the sex of the baby?" Alice grinned.

"Why did you kick up such a fuss about the colour of its clothes if you already knew?" I laughed.

"I did not kick up a fuss and I didn't know at that point. I had my vision after we left. I promise ill hide anything I buy so I don't give it away."

"You better do." We smiled at each other as I started to tidy my room.

"You know I was wondering something earlier." Alice stopped humming and looked over at me. She was perched on my bed reading fashion magazines.

"Yes?" Alice always had something to say or ask.

"What are you going to name him or her?"

"I haven't really decided yet. I was going to decide once I knew the sex."

Alice looked surprised. "Then why didn't you find out today?"

"It didn't feel right knowing without Jacob." I quickly grabbed a pile of dirty clothes to distract myself.

"I think you should defiantly call her Alice if she's a girl." Alice stated after a few moments of silence.

"Oh and I need your friends numbers to invite them to the baby shower."

"I'm not having a baby shower Alice. I've told you I don't want one. It's just an excuse for people to get free gifts and I don't want that."

"You are having a baby shower. I owe it to the baby to give the best possible party and get the best presents."

"No Alice." I walked through the door to take the clothes to the laundry.

"We'll see!" Alice shouted.

As much as I loved them, Charlie and Alice could become overbearing. I needed my own space and my own time to do normal things. Everything in my life had completely changed; even my mum was making regular visits down to see me. My college dreams had been put on hold. Although I passed all my exams and got accepted to several places, now that I was pregnant those dreams were gone. My free time is taken up doing my on-line English course. When the baby's old enough I still hold hope to going to college. The Cullen's have offered their help. They visit regularly and send gifts for me and the baby all the time. They won't move back to Forks. They don't want any more angst between themselves and the wolf pack. They know that they are being blamed for Jacobs's disappearance by most of them and are staying away for my sake. I never imagined my life turning out this way and now it's hard to imagine it being any different. Moving to Forks changed my life and I'd go through all the pain again if it meant having my baby.


	11. Chapter eleven

Chapter eleven

I never thought I'd have so many problems moving. But here I am struggling to sit up let alone walk. There are so many things that need doing that I can't physically do. It's a good job I have Alice insisting on getting everything ready and doing everything for me. The baby is due in two days. It's hard to believe that nine months have passed already. Nothing in my life is the same anymore and I've began to accept my destiny. Maybe everything was always meant to lead up to this. Me moving to Forks, meeting Edward, falling in love, learning about the existence of vampires, nearly being killed, having my heart destroyed, my Jacob healing me, falling in love with my soul mate, that magical night and now alone and pregnant with a half wolf baby. I used to think that Edward was my destiny and I was meant to be a vampire. Now I know that my child is the reason I was always meant to come to Forks. Sundays are always quiet days but when I opened my eyes and looked out of the window this morning everything looked so peaceful. It is one of my favourite months, I was more than happy when I found out my due date was June 4th, a summer baby. It's a rare thing to see sunlight in Forks but the summer months bring regular sunlight with them. My skin misses the warmth of the sun, I miss the way the sunshine makes everything look so beautiful.

Alice was sitting on the floor of my bedroom sorting unisex coloured baby clothes into piles.

"Alice, could you do me a favour and help me down the stairs? I feel like sitting in the sun for a while." The one part I won't miss about being pregnant is feeling so incapable.

"Of course I will, I can only take you to the door though your dads downstairs and I don't think he can handle seeing me sparkle." Alice gently and easily pulled me off the bed and carried me down the stairs. My feet had just touched the bottom step and I nearly fell to the ground. A shooting pain shot down from my stomach.

"Ouch!" I grabbed the staircase for support.

"Bella! Bella! What's wrong?" Alice quickly lifted me up and placed me on the sofa before Charlie came rushing out of the kitchen.

"Bella Hun, are you OK?"

I felt it again half an hour later and this time the pain was stronger.

"My stomach hurts." I was thankful that the pains weren't lasting very long.

"Dad, I think the baby's coming." I panicked.

Before I knew it I was sitting on a hospital bed wearing a hospital gown. The next 12 hours were a complete blur. The pain was nearly as painful as when the venom started to flow through my body when James bit me. Alice and Charlie never left my side.

"You're doing great Bella." Alice smiled down at me as I squeezed her hand in agony.

"A few more pushes and your baby will be ready to come out." The midwife smiled sweetly as she looked up from between my legs.

"That's it Bella, one more push you can do it." My dad encouraged me.

The pain, it hurts so much. With every muscle in my body I use my last bit of energy and pushed.

Then the pain vanished but I didn't hear my baby crying.

"My baby Where is my baby?"

The tears started to spill out of my eyes, something was wrong.

"Dad what's happened? Alice?" I pleaded for answers.

I attempted to sit up but the nurse nudged me back down.

"I'm going to get up and see what's wrong with my child whether they like it or not. Why hasn't my baby cried?" I shouted at the nurse.

My heart jumped and I sighed in relief when a tiny cry came from the other end of the room. It was music to my ears.

"Sorry Miss Swan, There was a slight blockage in your baby's throat that we had to clear straight away." The kind nurse walked over carrying my baby.

"Congratulations, it's a girl." She grinned a bright smile as she placed my daughter in my arms, my daughter.

_Love- When the reason for your existence is not self-desire, when your life comes second to those who you love._

"Have you decided on any names yet?" Alice asked me for the millionth time since I gave birth four hours earlier.

"I have actually." I couldn't take my eyes off her, she's was so amazing. This small person belongs to me, is a part of me and she's here in my arms. My heart stings a little every time I look at her; she looks so much like Jacob. She has the exact same skin and hair colour as him. The only thing she has of mine is my eyes. Jacob should be here; he should be holding his daughter and seeing with his own eyes how magical she is.

"Well? What's her name then?" Alice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Sarah Renee Black." With each name I tap her lightly on her nose.

"After Jacobs mum?" Charlie is sat to my left, cooing over his new-born granddaughter.

"Yes. I know he's not here but that doesn't mean my daughter isn't related to Sarah. Jacob would like it and she looks so much like a Black doesn't she?" I could see the worry in Alice and Charlie's eyes.

"She does, but she sure has your eyes."

"I know dad, and please both of you. Don't worry about me. I will be fine. All that matters now is Sarah."

"She's beautiful." Alice stroked the side of Sarah's cheek affectionately.

My body was exhausted but I couldn't sleep at all, I wouldn't take my eyes off my daughter. I'm mesmerized by her every action. The way her bottom lip pokes out a little when she sleeps, the thin curve of her eyebrows when she sighs. I want to take in every moment with her and remember every detail. When she's awake she lies perfectly still and stares at me through her glass crib for hours both of us mirroring each other's eyes. When the doctor did his final check on us both I was so happy to be told we could go home. I wanted more than anything to curl up in my own bed and soak in my daughter some more.

Billy was waiting outside my house with Sam as soon as we arrived back. Sam must have given him a ride.

"Why didn't you call me last night? I would have come to the hospital." I felt terrible for not asking him to be there. I just didn't want a bigger audience then I already had.

"I'm sorry Billy; it was a mad 12 hours. I wasn't really thinking of anything apart from the pain. You know I didn't want to leave you out." I hoped that my explanation would reassure him.

"I'll forgive you if you let me see my grandchild." Billy grinned.

"Granddaughter" I corrected him.

"A granddaughter? When Charlie phoned this morning he never told me what you had. He said it would be better for me to have a surprise." I walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa and placed Sarah into Billy's arms.

"Wow. She's perfect Bella. She looks exactly like..." He stopped mid-sentence.

"Jacob? Yeah I know. You can say it." I half laughed at Billy.

"She looks exactly like him, apart from your eyes."

I nodded and bend down and kissed Sarah on her head.

"Have you chosen a name yet Bella?"

"Her name is Sarah. Sarah Renee Black."

Billy looked up at me and stared into my eyes. Tears spilled down his cheeks and he looked the happiest I have ever seen him look.

"Thank you. It means a lot." He barely chocked out the words.

"I've known since the first month of finding out I was pregnant that I would name my baby Sarah if I had a girl. She is her grandmother and was a kind, gentle woman and role model and I hope my daughter has her qualities. Jacob would have agreed with me, I know he would approve of the name."

"You have a good heart Bella. I just wish Jake was here to see this."

"He will come home Billy. I have to believe that." I looked out of the window and into the woods.

I wanted to believe it more than anything. Without Jacob I wasn't complete, my family wasn't complete. Together we have made a little miracle and my destiny doesn't stop here. Jacob and Sarah are my life and I will never give up hope.


	12. Chapter twelve

Chapter twelve

The past three days have been a whirl wind. My life with Sarah feels like a dream that I haven't woken up from. It's a difficult feeling to describe. I know she's real, I love her more than I could possibly love anyone but it's almost as though she's a figment of my imagination. Everything was even more surreal today because the Cullen's had come to visit me. It had been so long since I last saw them. I have missed my second family so much. Alice surprised me, she told me she needed me and Sarah to go with her to the Cullen's house so she could box up some furniture for Esme. Once I stepped inside I was blown away by the sight of them. All standing and waiting with smiles spread across their faces. Jasper was keeping his distance as always, but welcomed me with just as much love as the rest of his family.

"You really don't know how much we have all missed you Bella." Esme sincerely said.

"I've missed you all so much as well. Everything is so different now." I gazed down at my sleeping daughter.

They had all taken turns to give Sarah a hug and meet her. I trusted the Cullen's with both of our lives but I couldn't help but be edgy when they each held her, she was after all human.

"I'm glad she doesn't smell." Emmett laughed.

"Smell?" My brow furrowed in confusion

"You know, like a dog? She is half wolf after all." His laughing grew louder.

"That's not funny Emmett. It doesn't matter what she is or what she smells like." I pulled Sarah closer to me.

"Believe me, if you had our sense of smell and she smelt anything like her father does. It would." The rest of the Cullen's joined me in scowling at him.

"May I hold her Bella?" A quiet voice approached me from behind.

I was taken back "Yeah of course you can Rosalie."

I gently handed Sarah to Rosalie and watched her face light up as she rocked her in her pale arms.

"She really is wonderful Bella. I know she has wolf blood in her but apart from that she's perfect." Rosalie smirked.

Esme had made me cake, a cake big enough to feed fifty but I politely eat a slice whilst Rosalie and Alice took it in turns to fuss over Sarah.

"We've got you a present Bella." Carlisle announced once I had finished my second slice.

"Oh Carlisle you shouldn't have. You know I don't like getting presents. You've all given me enough over the years."

"Not just for you, for Sarah too." He smiled at my response.

"We hope it will come useful to you Bella. We couldn't think of anything more perfect to give you." Esme added.

"We want you to have our house Bella, you and Sarah. We hope you have many happy times here just like we did." Carlisle reached in his pocket and pulled out a key.

"No! No you can't give me your house! You all love it here. This is your home and were perfectly fine at Charlie's." I stood up in protest.

"I told you she would refuse." Alice nudged Emmett.

"Bella please, we cannot come back to Forks now. As much as we love it here and wish we had never left we have a new life now in a different place. If you do not accept our gift then we will sell the house and someone else will live here."

"But I can't. It's too much." Tears filled my eyes at their selfless and amazing gesture.

"I don't deserve your kindness Carlisle. I'm not with Edward any more. I chose Jacob and I have his daughter. It's not right for me to get anything off any of you anymore."

"You are still like family to us Bella. We hope that both you and Sarah will remain so for the rest of your lives." Rosalie stared down at Sarah and smiled.

"Plus you can't take her away from me now. I'm just starting to like her." She laughed.

By now the tears rolled down my cheeks and my throat was raw with emotion.

"Our only condition is you let us visit and stay with you regularly." Emmett walked over and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"I don't know what to say." My voice whimpered.

"A thank you will do." Emmett joked.

"Thank you. I love you all so much." I half laughed and half sobbed at them.

The Cullen's spent the next week getting the house ready for me and Sarah. Esme, Rosalie and Alice have baby proofed everything and designed and decorated the most amazing nursery I have ever seen and there's hardly any pink! Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper have moved all of the furniture around and removed any useless or personal items. I stopped them from taking Edward's piano. Emmett was about to load it on his truck but I asked if I could keep it. Something about the idea of the house without the piano made me shudder. Charlie isn't happy at all. He doesn't like the idea of me and Sarah not living with him. All week at every opportunity he has tried talking me out of going. Once Alice informed him and myself that she would be living with me for as long as she is needed he calmed down and shut up. It was difficult saying Goodbye to my second family when they left. I knew I would see them again in no time at all but I had got used to them being around again. I couldn't believe that The Cullen house was now my home. It is so big for the three of us but I wouldn't have picked a better place to live myself. Walking around the house brought back memories, some good and some I wish I could forget. My room which once was Carlisle and Esmes now had a new bed and all of my stuff packed away in it. Not only had they given me the house but insisted on giving me nearly all of the furniture too. Sarah's nursery was next door and Alice was still in her room which was two doors down from mine. It is very surreal, everything is very surreal.

"Alice can you watch Sarah for me please? I need some fresh air."

"Of course." Alice skipped into the living room and scooped her from my arms.

The air helped clear my head. I had so many different emotions and feelings at the moment; it was hard to know how I truly felt. Everything in my life was working out good more than good, perfect. I could never be completely happy though, not until I was with Jacob. My heart ached more and more every day. Every time I think of him or see something that reminds me of him it sends a sting through my body. Sarah is a blessing but also a constant reminder of who is missing. My pain for Jacob is nothing compared to the hurt I feel when I think of him not knowing that he has a daughter, Sarah never meeting her father. With each day that passes the enviable truth becomes clearer, He is never coming back. I knew him too well; he honestly believed that I was with Edward again. The hurt and pain he must be feeling I could more than relate too. It is the ultimate betrayal, the betrayal that hasn't happened or never will. I am torn; I feel sympathy for Jacob because his hurt is genuine even though the reason is non-existent. I feel devastated and worried because this wasted time has gone and I have no idea what or where he is but a big part of me is angry too, Angry because he left me without giving me the chance to explain. He didn't know it but I needed him more than ever and he just left me standing there pleading for him to come back, Pregnant and alone and without a word for nearly a year. If he had of just turned around and seen that he was wrong. That my heart was his and had been since the day Edward left. If he had given me the time to tell him I was pregnant and scared. I can imagine him comforting me and reassuring me that no matter what he would be there. I know exactly what he would have been like around me, over protecting me and smothering me with endless kisses and promises of forever. I can picture exactly what his expression would have been when I gave birth and the tears he would have cried when he saw Sarah for the first time. I see it all in my head as if it's real, but it's not. He wasn't there for any of it. So many missed moments, so much loss. I looked towards the house with my blurred vision and sighed. 'This is my life now, accept it Bella.' I silently told myself as I walked towards the front door.

"Bella! I had a vision." Alice was outside before I had taken another step.

"What is it Alice? Is everything OK?" I bit my lip and grabbed Sarah from Alice's arms.

"I'm not sure. I saw Edward heading here but that's it."

"You have to find him Alice. What if he's hurt?" I scanned my eyes at the forest leading from my home.

"Go quickly Alice. Bring him here as soon as you find him."

She was gone before my next breath.


	13. Chapter thirteen

Chapter thirteen

The anxiety running through my body is becoming unbearable. I want to know what's happened, if Edward is OK. I can't keep myself still, my only source of comfort I have is knowing Sarah is safe in my arms. Alice has been gone for over half an hour, I've paced up and down the entrance of the forest at least sixty times looking for any sign of movement. When I was about to give up and go inside I heard a rustle in the bush nearby. Alice was dancing towards me with a calm expression on her face.

"Alice, what the hell is going on?" I went to run towards her but she was by my side before I had moved.

"Calm down Bella, everything is fine." Alice smiled her pixie smile at me and then looked at Sarah.

"Can I take Sarah inside? I think it's for the best."

"Not until you tell me what's going on?" I glared at Alice.

"Edward is fine Bella. He wants to talk to you and explain the situation. I think it's best if he tells you everything. Please let me take Sarah inside?" Her expression remained calm and at ease.

I placed Sarah in Alice's stretched arms and watched as she skipped her way towards the house, leaving me with no explanation at all. As soon as she stepped through the front door Edward appeared in exactly the same place as Alice had.

"Edward." I sighed in relief when he approached me and stood by my side. He looked perfect as always.

"I was so worried. Where have you been?" Before he could reply I threw my arms around his neck and held him until I felt calmer.

I stared at his face and took in the sight of him from his head to his toes. That's when I noticed that he wasn't untouched; his shirt was ripped down the left side of his body.

"Edward! What happened? Why is your shirt ripped?" I ran my fingers over the cut fabric to look for any signs of an injury, of course there was none.

"Bella its nothing, please do not worry yourself." Edward grabbed my shoulders on either side and looked into my eyes.

"I wanted to congratulate you. Sarah is beautiful. Of course I know this from Alice's thoughts." I was dazzled for a second when he smiled his crocked smile at me.

"Thank you."

"Please calm down Bella. I really am all right. I expected a lot worse." My heart quickened even more.

"What are you talking about Edward? Why won't anyone just tell me what's going on?" I bit my lip in frustration.

"This is not how I planned to tell you at all. I found him Bella." Edward held onto my shoulders tighter, as if expecting me to fall.

"Jacob?" I chocked out.

"Yes." Edward stared intensely into my eyes, studying my every expression.

"Where is he?" I could feel myself start to spin, I was not expecting this.

"He is nearby. I convinced him to let me talk to you myself first, rather than completely shock and surprise you with his appearance."

I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. Edward had found Jacob and he was here. I had waited for so long for this day and now it had arrived I was frozen.

"Would you like me to get him Bella? He's really not far. I thought it best he keep his distance until you compose yourself." Edward eyed the forest anxiously.

"And of course he's not really happy about it."

Edward had always been a patient person but after staring at me in total silence for an unknown amount of time even he was beginning to frown.

"Bella?"

I took a deep breath and steadied my nervous.

"I'm ready." Is all I could muster. Edward nodded once and walked into the trees.

I had to be dreaming, It was all too much to take in. But I knew this was no dream, my dreams never went this way. They were a picture of happiness, myself holding Sarah running towards Jacob smiling and him welcoming me with open arms, this was not a dream.

"Bella?" I turned towards the sound of my whispered name and stared in shock. Even though I was expecting him I was far from prepared when I saw his face. He looked nervous, half hiding behind a tree. His hair has grown to his shoulders and he looked as though he hadn't slept for months. Every emotion was swimming through me, every expression running clearly across my face. My body ached for him, to feel his warm arms around mine, to smell his musky smell and feel his hard muscles press me so securely. My hand automatically reached in his direction but I quickly pulled it back down. I don't know what to do, what to say?

"Edward told me you're not together. Is this true?" Jacob raised his voice slightly for me to hear from the distance.

"Yes." I couldn't contain myself any more.

Tears began to blur my vision. I could see the outline of Jacob slowly approaching me.

I wiped my eyes clean and watched him drawing nearer and nearer. My whole body started to shake; I could feel myself getting hotter. Out of nowhere and unexpectedly an anger I had never felt before took over all other emotions. He must have seen the change because he stopped and stood very still a few feet from me with his eyebrows pulled together in confusion and concern. He opened his mouth to talk but I shouted as loud as I could before he had chance to say another word.

"How could you Jacob? You left me without a word for nearly 9 months. Did you really think that I would do that to you? That I would ask you to come home from Hawaii just so I could leave you for Edward? Do my words mean nothing to you? I told you that I am yours; you should have known that it wasn't what it looked like. It was a goodbye kiss from Edward. I told him that my heart had always belonged to you Jacob, and that you were my soul mate. Do you have any idea what I've been through? Any at all? The time I needed you the most and you ran away without even giving me a chance to explain!" My shouting had turned into hysterical sobs. I slumped to the ground in despair.

"Bella I'm so sorry." Jacob ran towards me and lifted me up from the ground. My body wrapped itself around his, like two magnets put together. I looked up towards his face and we stared into each other's eyes.

"I should have known better. I'm such an idiot! I just saw you both and thought you had... it broke my heart Bella. I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't stay around and watch you both together again." Jacob continued to stare into my eyes as he explained his side of the story.

"You are the reason I live, you know that my life revolves around you Bella. You're my imprint and my soul mate. It felt like there was nothing I could do to keep you away from him. I thought you choose him even though you know your my imprint, well I thought it hadn't stopped you. I've spent months wondering from one place to another barely living Bella." He ran his thumb across my cheek to wipe away the tears.

"Will you ever forgive me for being such an idiot?" I could see tears forming in his eyes.

"I already have." I copied his action and ran my thumb across his cheek to wipe his tears.

"I'm not complete without you Jake."

"I love you Bella. I will never forgive myself." His lips gently rubbed against mine. The kiss was the most passionate and breath-taking kiss I had ever experienced. All our emotions, all of the unsaid words and 9 months of absence were said with the kiss.

When we finally stopped I was short of breath. Jacob smiled his goofy grin down at my face.

"God I've missed you so much." He reached for my waist to pick me up. I held out my hand to stop him. The easy part was over, now I had to prepare myself for the next part.

"What else did Edward tell you Jake?" I asked curiously. Although I knew that he didn't know yet. He would of told me when he first saw me if that was the case.

"Not much. He just about managed to convince me that you weren't together and stopped me from ripping his head off." Jacobs laugh was infectious.

"There's more Jake, so much more." My expression was serious. Jacobs laugh stopped immediately.

"What's wrong Bella? Are you OK?" His face was suddenly full of concern and anguish.

"I don't really know how to begin Jake. I mean I've been preparing how to tell you if you ever came home for months. But it's so much harder then I imagined." My lip trembled.

Jacob reached for my hand "You can tell me anything Bella."

I took several deep breaths, I was trying to delay what I was about to tell him. With each passing second his face grew more and more concerned. I knew it was now or never.

"When you left I was pregnant Jake."

His eyes popped out and his mouth fell open in shock. I could see him looking me up and down.

"But you're not? There's no? Am I?" He couldn't get a full sentence out.

"I WAS pregnant and yes you are."

The only sound I could hear was my heart beat. Jacob stood frozen to the spot.

"I'm a dad?" He asked confused.

"Yes you are." I stood on my tiptoes and held his face. He began to cry uncontrollably.

"Oh god I left you and you were pregnant? You had to go through it all alone? You were carrying my child and I left you over something that didn't even happen?" Jacob seemed to be talking to himself more than me.

I let him calm down before I spoke again.

"I know you would never have left if you knew. I found out the day I phoned and asked if you could come home."

"That's why you asked me to come home?" Tears were streaming down his face and his body was shaking.

"Yes."

"What about.. Where is our baby?"

"Our daughter is inside the house. I know she would really like to meet her daddy." We both stared at each other's tear stained faces. Jacob smiled through his tears.

"Daughter?"

"Yes. Her name is Sarah Rene Black."

Jacob stopped moving and stared at me in shock. "Sarah, After my mum?"

Before I could reach him he had leaned against the tree he was stood by and had curled up into a ball sobbing. I silently sat next to him and stroked his arm as a way to comfort him.

"After all that I put you through. You welcome me home with open arms and forgive me so easily. Why don't you hate me Bella?" His face was serious now.

"Because Jacob, how could I hate my soul mate?" It was a stupid question to me. He knew that we were meant for one another so why would he think I could ever hate him? I always knew I would forgive him.

"You named her after my mum even though I left?" He had such pain in his eyes.

"I always knew that would be her name if I had a girl."

We sat there for a while just taking in all the new information. I had to deal with Jakes return and he had to deal with the knowledge that he was now a father.

"I love you so much Bella. You have no idea; I will never forgive myself for this." The tears had vanished from his eyes but his expression was still pained.

"I told you, I've forgiven you so you should forgive yourself. Your here now and that's all that matters."

I was content sitting peacefully on Jacobs lap. Our eyes never left each other's as we soaked each other in.

"Can I meet my daughter?" Jacob suddenly asked.

I laughed and he stared confused at my reaction.

"Why are you even asking? You don't need my permission."

We stood up and walked hand in hand towards the house. I could tell Jacob was nervous, he hardly spoke a word. Alice and Edward were sat in the living room pretending to watch TV.

"She's upstairs" Alice beamed at us.

I was shocked to see Jacob smile back at her, not only did he smile at Alice but he turned and politely nodded at Edward as well. Once we got upstairs I stopped when we reached Sarah's room and waited for Jacob who was just behind me.

"Is it stupid that I'm scared?" the innocence in his voice was something I had never heard before.

"Not at all" I remembered how scared I was when I first met our daughter.

The moment I would remember forever was about to happen, everything would change once he entered the room. I opened the door without hesitation and we both stepped into the room.

Sarah was lying silently in her crib, wide awake.

Jacob stepped back, unsure what to do so I held his hand and pulled him forward. When we reached the edge of her crib she stared up at us. Jacob began to break down as soon as his eyes met hers. I knew this was emotional for him.

"Hey Jake, Its OK." I pulled his hand from his eyes and kissed his tears.

I stepped back in shock at his next move. He had reached down and lifted Sarah into his arms So effortless and natural.

"Hello my gorgeous girl. I'm your daddy." He stared down at her and smiled. Tears were still running down his face.

I stared at the two of them together and begin to cry myself. It's different this time though, the tears are not because of sadness but happy tears. My dreams have come true, Jacob is home and Sarah has her daddy.

"She looks like me." The smile on Jakes face made goose bumps run up my arms. He had never looked so happy.

"I know."

"I'm so sorry, if I had known. I would never have left sweetheart." Jacob apologising to his daughter is the sweetest and most tragic thing I have ever seen.

"We know." Jacob stared at me and smiled. He was glowing with happiness.

He softly kisses Sarah on her head and placed her into my arms.

"This is so much more than I ever imagined. You're both my life now and I promise to never leave either of your sides ever again." Before I could take in the look of determination in his face he dropped to the floor and got down on one knee.

No he can't be? Now I was the one standing in shock.

"Marry me Bella Swan. I know you don't believe in marriage and I never planned on doing it this way or this soon but waking up to you every day as my wife will make my dreams complete. Please will you become a Black like me and Sarah?"

"Yes." I spoke the words before thinking. I never imagined wanting something like this but now I couldn't think of anything better.

"I think I'd quite like that too."

Jacob reached up and kissed me hard on the lips then he wrapped his big strong arms around me. Sarah lay contently between us as we had our very first family hug.

Everything was now perfect.


	14. Chapter fourteen

Chapter fourteen

Every morning when I wake up and see Bella's face next to mine it makes me feel like I'm the luckiest boy on earth. Boy, that's what I am, just a boy who now has a fiancée and daughter and family of his own. I never pictured things quite going down this path. I could see it when I was a man but not this young. I'm a sixteen year old with the life of someone who's middle aged, apart from the whole wolf thing. Being a dad has really made me grow up quickly. I can't afford to act like a teenager anymore, Sarah needs me. My Sarah, the most perfect creation the world has seen, if I don't say so myself. She is the life force that runs through my body, my heart and mind, my love and Bella's love all formed into one tiny little human being. It's still hard to think of myself as a father. After two months of being back it still feels as though I'm in a coma and living this perfect and unreal life in my head. Every morning I wake up to do the first feed and take Sarah to La Push to see her uncles. I want to make it up to Bella after all the time I could have been there. It makes me feel better just doing something to help.

"Come give me my niece to hold. I want the first cuddle." Embry runs ahead of the rest of the pack and takes Sarah from my arms.

I stand back and let the pack fuss my gorgeous daughter. I am lucky enough not only to have been welcomed back with open arms by Bella but my family of wolfs as well. They of course knew about Sarah and tried for months to find me and prayed that I would one day take my wolf form so they could reach me…but I never did.

"Dude give me her! I want a turn." Quill holds his arms out and attempts to take Sarah from Embry as I watch and laugh.

"Be careful with her guys, she's not as strong as us wolfs…yet." I smile as I imagine the possibility of my little girl one day being like me.

We all head into the house and eat a delicious breakfast courtesy of Emily while Sam stands at the counter and address his pack.

"I know you have Sarah and Bella now Jake but you still have a loyalty to the pack." He speaks calmly yet firmly to me while I hold a sleeping Sarah.

"Now as you know it's been months since we have had any vampires down these parts but we still need to patrol and make sure La push is safe and stays vampire clean."

I hear chores of 'here, here' and 'hell yes' as I attempt to shut them all up and not wake up Sarah.

"So if we all take it in turns to patrol round the clock and make sure we patrol the surrounding areas as well. Now the Cullen's have gone I see no reason for us not to protect Forks too. As long as we have yours and Bella's permission to run around the woods near your house Jake? " Sam looks at me with a serious expression.

"As If I need to answer that" I quietly laugh feeling slightly offended that he even had to ask.

He nods thanks still with a serious expression on his face. I haven't phased for so many months I've almost forgotten what it feels like. I don't need my wolf connection to the pack to know what Sam's thinking though, he feels betrayed. You can see it when he looks at me, such disappointment in his eyes. I could barely stand it if it wasn't my fault. I was an idiot who left everyone I loved and I deserve any punishment given.

"There you both are." Bella smiles as I walk through the front door holding Sarah. I missed that smile so much when I was away. It was all I could think about, all I dreamt about. Bella and her perfect beautiful smile.

"Sorry Bells, the guys were hogging Sarah again." I lean down and kiss her softly on the head whilst handing her our daughter.

"Ah I guess the novelty of her hasn't worn off then." Bella laughs as she kisses Sarah on the head.

"Far from it, our little cub is one popular member of the pack." We both laugh at my new little nickname for our daughter.

"Little cub?" Bella smirks as she looks down at Sarah "I like it."

I sniff the air instantly smelling fried bacon and eggs "Breakfast?" I ask already heading to the kitchen.

"I'm guessing your second one this morning?" Bella laughs as she follows behind me.

"OI I'm a growing man, I need my food." I grab Bella around the waist and kiss her on the lips letting go so we can all sit down for our usual family breakfast.


End file.
